


Do Not Make Yourself Another's Jailer

by transpapyrus



Series: Post-Season 12: The Missing Chapters [1]
Category: Bones (TV)
Genre: Best Friends, Broken Promises, Forgiveness, Friendship, Gen, Guilt, Post-Series, Regret, making amends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-05
Updated: 2020-06-05
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:21:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,106
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24561514
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/transpapyrus/pseuds/transpapyrus
Summary: Hodgins has a lot to be sorry for.
Relationships: Zack Addy & Jack Hodgins
Series: Post-Season 12: The Missing Chapters [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1778317
Comments: 1
Kudos: 19





	Do Not Make Yourself Another's Jailer

**Author's Note:**

> Yep. I'm writing Bones fic in the year of our lord 2020. I just watched the show for the first time and have a lot of thoughts. Mostly about Zack.

“Zack, I’m sorry.” Zack didn’t understand. He couldn't make sense of why Hodgins was apologizing to him. He hadn't done anything wrong. In fact, he had done everything  _ right _ . He’d proven his innocence in the case of the Lobbyist’s murder. But it seemed Hodgins was incapable of seeing the logic in that reasoning. And for once Zack didn't blame him. “I had no doubt that you were the Puppeteer. I believed it with everything in me.”

“That’s understandable,” Zack reasoned calmly. “All the evidence led to me. Even I could not refute it, despite having no memory of committing the murders.” He shrugged. “Also, you were still working under the assumption that I killed the Lobbyist, therefore you believed I was capable of murder, making the conclusion of me being a serial killer reasonable. Given the facts—”

Hodgins slammed his hands on the table. “But those  _ weren't  _ the facts! And you  _ didn’t  _ do it!” He looked pained. “Zack, what’s wrong with you? It’s like you still want to be guilty.”

“Because I  _ am _ guilty, Dr. Hodgins.” Zack said. “A fact which is consistent with my sentence ending in 13 months.”

Hodgins looked like he was going to explode. “Don’t ‘Dr. Hodgins’ me, Zack, Jesus Christ. You shouldn't even be in here for that long. Or at all. There’s absolutely no reason for you to have been locked up.”

“I disagree,” Zack said. “I’m not innocent. And I think you know that. You would not have believed so strongly that I was capable of serial murders if you believed that.”

Hodgins deflated. “It wasn’t just the facts, Zack.” He ran a hand over his face. “It wasn’t just the evidence. I thought… I felt like I just didn’t know who you were anymore. Or maybe that I never knew you.”

“But you do know me.” Zack tilted his head to the side. “I’m Zack.”

Hodgins laughed, a strained and forced sound. “Which Zack? Zack the baby-faced intern? Zack the King of the Lab? Zack the doctor? Zack the Gormogon’s apprentice? Zack the kidnapper? Zack the physical therapist? Zack the lawyer?” 

“I get your point,” Zack muttered, moving his gloved hands from the table to his lap. He entwined his fingers nervously. “Do people change so much?”

Hodgins looked away. “I did.” He sighed. “I think you did too.”

“Perhaps.” Zack was quiet for a moment, thinking. “Did you only come to apologize for believing in evidence?”

“No.” Hodgins leaned forward. “I also came to apologize for abandoning you.”  _ You didn’t abandon me, _ Zack wanted to say. But it wouldn’t be true. Not how Hodgins meant it. He kept his mouth shut. “There was no excuse for how long I went without visiting. For never even calling or checking on you. Maybe if I had, you wouldn’t have had to break out. Maybe I wouldn’t have believed...” He trailed off. “You’re my best friend, Zack. That never should have stopped.”

Zack blinked, and if Hodgins didn’t know better, he would’ve thought he saw actual betrayal in the younger man’s eyes. “What you’re saying is that at some point, I stopped being your best friend.” Hodgins said nothing. He didn’t have to. His silence was loud enough. “We were apart for a long time,” Zack continued, so Hodgins didn’t have to. “There were other interns, who were there longer than I was. It’s logical that you would become closer with them.” Despite his face betraying nothing, and his voice free from even a slight waver, Hodgins just  _ knew _ that he was hurt. But then he frowned. “Wait. You said I  _ am _ your best friend.”

“What?”

“A moment ago, your exact words were ‘you’re my best friend’. Not ‘you  _ were _ my best friend.” Their eyes met. “Implying that my role in your life has once again changed.”

“Of course it has,” Hodgins said, somewhat exasperated. “You weren’t in my life, and now you are. That changes everything.”

“You were my best friend, you know,” Zack said contemplatively. “Even when you didn’t come to visit.” 

Hodgins knew Zack didn’t intend that to be a dig at him, but it still stung. It was just another reminder of how he’d failed him. “I  _ promised _ you that this wouldn’t come between us. That I was with you all the way, no matter what you’d done. That I wouldn’t leave you.” His face was red, anger and sadness all mixed together. “I let you down, Zack. That’s on me.”

Zack thought about that for a minute, quietly, and the silence felt like an eternity to Hodgins who sat there, never taking his eyes off of him, wondering if logic would dictate that his best friend hated him. Finally he spoke, and his face betrayed nothing, as per usual. “A promise is a prison,” he said matter-of-factly, to a somewhat bewildered Hodgins. “I would not want to be your jailer.”

Hodgins decided to not even  _ start _ with how fucked up that was, considering their current position (psychiatric hospital or not, Zack was still locked up, and being in this cold and barren room with him felt too much like jail for him to ever be okay with it). “Wow Zack, that’s deep,” he said instead, deciding to make light of the situation. “Where did you learn the art of metaphor?”

Zack seemed unbothered. “Dr. Sweets left me psychology books sometimes,” he said. “I finally started reading them.” 

That hit harder than Hodgins was prepared for. Just another reminder that someone else had spent far more time with Zack than he had. And yet despite all their time apart, Zack still considered him his best friend? It was just unfair. “You’re a better man than me,” Hodgins said, and he meant it.

“The justice system would disagree with you,” Zack replied. “The judge believes the evidence speaks for itself in that case.”

Hodgins wanted to scream. “And what about  _ you, _ Zack? What do  _ you _ believe?”

This time, he didn’t have to stop and think. “I believe that I forgive you,” he said. “Please do not feel guilty.”

The relief on Hodgins’ face was evident. “I won’t leave you again.”

That sounded awfully like a promise, so Zack didn’t comment. Instead, he got up from the table and walked over to Hodgins, leaning over to throwing his arms around him. He nearly ended up in the man’s lap, which caused him to grunt in surprise before returning the hug. “Okay, alright, easy. Okay.” It seemed like Zack wasn’t letting go anytime soon, so he just brought up one hand and ruffled his hair. He closed his eyes. So did Zack. “We’re okay.” And they stayed like that.

**Author's Note:**

> The title of this fic (and the subsequent quote) comes from episode 4 of Star Trek: Picard, so if you recognize it then you, like me, have a very niche crossover of interests. Anyway, comments fuel my soul, and I hope you enjoyed this little snapshot of post-finale life. I have more thoughts kicking around in my head that I'm sure I'll write soon. Thanks for reading!


End file.
